The Stewarding
Trip A Vizsla owner called home to his
wife and said, "Honey, I have been asked to help out stewarding at a
Vizsla trial up at Swan Hill with my boss & several of his friends.
We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get
that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough
clothes for a week and set out my stewarding gear? We're leaving
from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up."
"Oh! And please pack my new blue silk
pyjamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit suspicious but being the good wife
she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise
looking good.
The wife welcomed him home and asked how did the stewarding go?
He said, "Great! We worked every day. Obedience, Agility, you name
it. Lots of practice for the local Vizsla trial. But why didn't you
pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?"
The wife replied, "I did. They're in your stewarding bag....."
The Talking
Vizsla
A bloke sees
a sign in front of a house: "Talking Vizsla for Sale." He rings
the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden.
The bloke
goes into the backyard and sees a Vizsla just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks. "Sure do." the dog replies. "So, what's
your story?"
The dog
looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift for talking
pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told ASIO
about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country
to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders.
Because no one figured a dog would be eaves-dropping…..I was one
of their most valuable spies eight years running." "The jetting
around really tired me out. I knew I wasn't getting any younger
and I wanted to settle down.
So I signed
up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work,
mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded
loads of medals…..had a wife, a few puppies, and now I'm just
retired and have taken up agility judging."
The man is
amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars." The bloke says, "This dog is
amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap? I expected
over $1,000"
"Cause he's
a liar. He's never done any of that stuff, especially the
agility judging"
